Parent-Teen Communication
What parent hasn't at times experienced difficulty communicating with
his or her teenage daughter or son? Who hasn't said something like, "I just can't talk to her any more. I don't know what happened, we used to
be so close." Or, "My son used to tell me everything that happened in
his life, and now if I ask the most innocent question about his day, he
practically screams at me to stay out of his business." Parents
complain that they work hard at being a good parent, but end up feeling
shut out of their teen's life, or disrespected and unappreciated.
Many of the problems in parent-teen communication result from the
opposing parent and teen life development tasks that are underway. It
is the parents' job to insure the safety and welfare of their children,
which necessitates a certain amount of control. On the other hand, it
is the job of a teen to separate from his parents in order to discover
himself, to determine who he is, what he is capable of doing, and what
kind of people he wants to associate with. Seen in this context, some
degree of conflict is inevitable, appropriate and even desirable. The
key to working through the conflict is leaning to communicate from the
heart, rather than from fear, anxiety, and anger.
Applying the ideas presented in Restoring Trust and Love, found below, will take any family a long way toward creating the kind of communication between parents and their children that is longed for; i.e., honest, loving, kind communication in which real feelings are shared, secrets are not held, and each individual is
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