Preventing Teen Suicide
Listed below are six simple steps you can take that will greatly reduce the potential danger of teen suicide.
1. Don't be afraid or embarrassed to ask for help.
As previously noted , less than 1% of teens who completed suicides were in treatment at the time of their deaths. What better evidence that mental health services work to reduce suicidal thinking and save the lives of adolescents.
2. Remove lethal means.
If you are at all concerned about the safety of your teen, removing the possible means of committing suicide should be your number one priority. Knowing that completed suicides are most often committed with a firearm, it is obvious that the single most effective step you can take as a parent to prevent teen suicide is to remove all firearms, both handguns and rifles, from your home. If you are unwilling to take that step, the next best action is to
Secure your firearms under lock and key (Boys have been known to take the firearm cabinet key out of their father's pants pocket while the father slept. How will you know that your key is safe?)
Keep arms separate from ammunition
Never keep a loaded weapon in your home
Remove and control all other lethal means as well, including prescribed and over-the-counter medications
3. Eliminate the availability of drugs and alcohol. Studies have shown that over 50% of teen suicide completions included alcohol usage prior to the time of death. As you know, an adolescent's brain is still a work in progress, and one of the last functions to fully develop is the frontal cortex, that area of the brain most directly associated with higher level thinking processes, such as planning, thinking ideas through to their logical conclusion, and the like. Alcohol and some other drugs further reduce teen inhibitions and increase the likelihood of impulsive actions, including suicide attempts. If you are concerned about your son or daughter, treat all drugs, and alcohol in particular, as seriously as you would the firearm or other lethal means that might be used in a suicide attempt; i.e., don't have alcohol or other mind altering drugs in your home, or control them under lock and key. It goes without saying that your own use of legal and illegal drugs will likely influence your teen's thinking and usage, so be aware of your modeling and know that your teen is paying attention.
4. Pay attention to the events in the life of your teen. Most teen suicide attempts are preceded by stressful events, such as academic difficulties, interpersonal problems with friends (especially breaking up with a boyfriend or girlfriend), a severe argument with one or both parents, the realization by the teen that he or she is not exclusively heterosexual, and in some cases, the attempted or completed suicide of a person known to them. Talk to your teen in a nonjudgmental way about his or her life, and more importantly, listen to what he or she has to say. If you disagree, do so respectfully ("Well, I see what you're saying, but it seems to me there are other ways of looking at this as well."). You are the parent, but as much as possible, treat your teenage son or daughter as you would a roommate, which automatically eliminates condescending or infantalizing forms of talk. For more tips on how to have effective conversations with your son or daughter, see the Parent-Teen Communication section of this website.
5. Take care of yourself. While it may seem impossible to consider your own needs when faced with a crisis of this magnitude, it's essential if you're going to do the best job possible of intervening in useful ways. Start by reminding yourself of this fact: various studies estimate that the ratio of suicide attempters to completers is as low as 1:200 (completely accurate statistics are not available in the US, because there is no national clearing house for such information). While suicide attempts are always to be taken very seriously, the odds are pretty good that you and your teen will get through this crisis okay.
6. Lastly, but perhaps most importantly, listen, listen, and listen some more to your teen. Listen without judgment of him or her, or of yourself, reassuring him or her of your love, that you are not angry for his or her suicidal thoughts, or of what he or she has done if an attempt has been made, and that you know your family can do what needs to be done to insure his or her safety. Then take a deep breath and make a list of the resources available to you and how you will utilize them. In addition to gathering information, do whatever you need to do in order to remain grounded; i.e., meditate, pray, talk with trusted friends, exercise vigorously, get a massage, listen to calming music, etc. You know best what works for you. It's important not only for yourself, but for your teen as well. Your teen will respond to your calm assurance, or to your anxiety and escalation if that is what is present.
